It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
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