Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
It's blow job season.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
