Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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