all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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