You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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