they need to just BURY HIM!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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