Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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