just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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