I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
