dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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