Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
