Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
