i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
