and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
