your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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