I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
