the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Randomize
