Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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