and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
