Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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