so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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