can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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