u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
