The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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