a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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