In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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