so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
