Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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