clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
