I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
