Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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