Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
