you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
