so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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