She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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