I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize