I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
