I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
