who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
