Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
