Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
