Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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