you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
