What a fucking waste of an outfit
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
