I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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