Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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