you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
