I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
