I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
