But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
