At least make sure they are 18
Why
My underwear smells like fireworks.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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