I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
