i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
