very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
