I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
