too bad you live with your parents still
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
