Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
