Can i not drive my cunt home
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
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