My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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