3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
