my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
