Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
