And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
