I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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