I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
