what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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