You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
