she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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