I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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