There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
