I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Randomize
