So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
