we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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