Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
