oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
